“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one – Jill Churchill”
Mom's guilt is real. A tiny voice inside you whispers “Am I doing it right?“ or “Am I spending too much time at work?”. Mom’s guilt comes a lot from you wanting to be a good mother. You may feel that your best is not good enough. Are you too harsh on yourself as a mom?
Here’s the big secret. You may be doing better than you think. Mom’s guilt is an illusion. When we harbour negative thoughts, we are engaging in unhelpful thinking. We only focus on the single negative thought and negate positive ones. By doing so, you will only foster negative views.
Check out these 5 effective ways to deal with mom’s guilt.
#1 Make yourself a priority. Fill your cup first before you fill others. This is not being selfish. When you’re running low or empty, you have nothing to give.
#2 Be flexible. Your daily best may change based on quality of rest/sleep, your emotions, diet and stressors/demands.
#3 Forgive yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Be a good parent is enough. Give yourself some slack to fail sometimes as a mom.
#4 Be realistic. Develop a realistic expectation of yourself. Don’t expect yourself to work as if you are single or raise a child as if you are a stay-home mom.
#5 Put on your supermom’s cape. Only love is needed to be a supermom.
Remember Maya Angelou’s famous quote: “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it. Then when you know better, do better”. Successful mothers are not the ones who have not struggled. They are the ones who didn’t give up, despite the struggles. Salute to all you moms!