Updated: Apr 27, 2019
You’ve read about making nutritious baby food from scratch but juggling a full-time job and the new addition, with no helper, put paid to your plans.
Baby plans may veer off-track and hit the speed bump
Mums try to figure out what’s wrong and often, unfairly, we point the finger at ourselves. We always ask: If other mums cope so well, why can’t I? To make matters worse, mums are led to believe that the fallback option of infant formula, bottled jar food, and anything remotely mass-produced is somehow “not natural” for the baby. Not helping too is the pervasive myth that motherhood comes naturally to women just because we carried and popped out a tiny human being. This disconnect between what we think other mums are doing right and what we are doing “wrong” invariably leads to plenty of hot tears, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
Pre-term delivery may happen
I had a preterm delivery with my first at 30th week. I questioned if I had brought it upon myself through the choices I’ve made. Did I exert myself excessively? Had I been irresponsible for having sex while pregnant? How can I undo it?
Breastfeeding is not a breeze
I struggled with breastfeeding despite help from 2 lactation nurses. The tipping point was when I knew that my colleague was throwing out her excessive milk. Nice one, I told myself. Not only was my womb wonky, my breasts were sub-standard! Yes, my breast milk was measly, but I missed the bigger picture that my daughter was still being fed. She wasn’t starved, and her weight grew steadily. And fortunately, my family, doctors and nurses were wonderfully supportive.
Good enough is perfect
Thinking back, I think I could have made life easier for everyone had I been less hard on myself. And happier too. So, resist the self-blame but give yourself some credit that you have come a long way. Be kind to yourself. Leave the chase of perfection at the door and just enjoy your pregnancy and the new baby. Good enough may be perfect for you and your family.